Category: Dilemna - all for my dream on a budget...
he drove me to school today. I was happy he had some extra time.

Anyway, we came to tail an Avanza. I told him that it's cute.
His response was that all we can say is that it's cute. If i wouldn't have to marry this year, he was actually planning to get one for me. (We are not rich. So, Avanza to me is still a lot. It is a practical choice afterall. although, i had wanted a Celerio at first.)
I smiled.
He told me that i still have a chance to back out and grab the car.
I know my Papa was joking. And that he knows that somehow there's no turning back anymore. But we do know that jokes are half meant.
I bet that in a way, he did mean it. He doesn't want me married this soon. But there's just nothing he can do and he knows it. So, he accepts it.

I am going to miss my Papa... and Mama... and Jobbie (my 9yr-old kid brother)... and Jon (my other brother... although not that much since he had been at cebu since 2007.)
I am going to miss davao... my home.
I will miss my church here and the friends that i have there & the fellowship that we have.
I will miss my friends.
i will miss a lot.

Yes, I must be loving this man quite a lot.
He often asks me if i think he'd be worth it all.
Honestly, if i didn't think that he would, i wouldn't have decide to go with him.

i just realized that time flies so fast.

soon, i'll be there with him.

along with a lot of uncertainties but definitely with lots of love.
there's this price that you're willing to spend...

and there's that part of you that wish to have that wedding that you've always dreamt about.
and there's another side that knows that a lot can be done on the money that would go to the wedding that would last only for a couple to four hours...

i honestly wish i could just go about with having 20 people... then, i could save a lot!
i wish i could go to a destination wedding instead of having a bunch of people.

but then again, i am in the Philippines.
i am tied down to the culture and tradition that we have.
and that my family's pride in a way is at stake (or at least my father and mother's).

i wish we could just run off and get married somewhere...
but it would crush my mama's heart... surely.
& it would melt the excitement amongst my friends and family.

but looking at the brighter side again... at least a lot would enjoy our wedding... or so, i hope.
my father is not agreeable to my 8-9-10 dream wedding date right now. he wants it moved to a later date of the month.

anywayz, it would have been easy to give up on the wedding date, if not because of this one thing...
my future in-laws had thought that 8-9-10 is final & approved and they all have a ticket to davao for that date!
yes, all 12 of them. They didn't even wait for a promo fare to come in.
btw, cebu pacific has P999 on all domestic flights up to april 8 for travel on june 1 to august 31. (i got dennies a flight to davao on july on this promo so we could deliver our invites and to wrap things up.)

it's indeed an additional cost to be living in a long distance relationship. thus, it would be a heaven (or so, i hope) to be together soon. (excited ^^< i ought to be, i guess)

I am to tell him(my father) tonight. since, they already had the post-wedding reception welcome for us at manila on august 21. So, got to spill the beans so they could get the discounted fares to manila that's up until tomorrow.

God help me.

Thanks for your prayers, friends.

God bless. ^^<
Honestly speaking... i think I am loosing the battle for my intimate wedding if i were to have good relations with some of my family.

i really hope that when i come to have a child's wedding in the future... that i wouldn't impress what i want over my child's dream.

disclaimer: my Papa had been so gracious about letting me know that i could have it as we planned it.
the problem is ith Mama's family.
I really don't belong in their big family, they have lots of superstitious beliefs and a weird sense of being a family.
I wish they were to watch Lilo & Stitch so they'd have an idea of what real family is like... that it's more than the blood-link but actually a bond that is more stronger than just shared lineage.

My mother, on her talk with one of my "ate" friends, told her that she can't seem to place where i got my idea or notion of hating the whole big wedding scheme...
well, i know the chances of her running into my blog is like down to 0%... but let me share my point of view anyways...
1. i want as little stress as possible.
yeah, right. The more the merrier. but to me... it means the more the CHAOS... not to mention the gastos.
Let's face it... in these tough times, a few thousand save from a wedding could amount to a start of a small business or a living room showcase or a fully furnished bedroom.
2. yes... the budget
while my parents had alreasy said that they would provide for the extra...
but wouldn't it be more meaningful to have us spend for our wedding? & don't they have another place/thing to spend their money for? (we are not rich)
3. the intimacy
being with only a few people would make everyone enjoy the wedding better. I'd be surrounded with people i love & around those who love me.
so, it's like an intimate reunion and celebration where the family could relax... and yes... just like drinking coffee.

i could go on & on about why i'd prefer a smaller bunch.
pre-wedding, it's more on the lesser expenses & lesser stress... in the wedding, it's more on the intimacy & a controlled chaos... post-wedding, it's more of the lesser talks & complaints on the negative aspect of your whole wedding.
i mean, i'd rather have them complain about why they weren't invited than have them at my wedding, paying for their meals, and them, rewarding me with complaints & criticisms... call me paranoid... but i really wouldn't want that.

NOW... looking at the brighter side...
if i were to go into all the hastles and bustles of a big wedding...
who says i couldn't have my own little wedding?
that intimate wedding of 20-30 that i've dreamt of?

i actually have a plan in mind...